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U might B from GUAM...
if you enjoy the bumper sticker saying: I am Stupid, Honk if U Agree.
U might B from GUAM...
if you prefer being called "CHA-moron".
U might B from GUAM...
if you are a "moron"...
U might
B from
GUAM...
if you believe in Cinderella & Sleeping Beauty....
U might
B from
GUAM...
if your mom is really related to your dad...
U might
B from
GUAM...
if you think sex was a chamori invention....
U might
B from GUAM...
if you secretly yearn for another typhoon...
U might
B from GUAM...
if you sleep in the nude to honor your ancestors...
U might
B from GUAM...
if you believe the 'moon walk' is soooo Chamori...
U might
B from GUAM...
if you wear screaming bright-colored long skirts...
U might
B from GUAM...
if you're a graduate of the Altarboy Academy...
U might
B from GUAM...
if your bumper stickers are older than your vehicle...
U might
B from GUAM...
if your favorite 'pick-up line' is: Why R U always in my dreams?...
U might
B from GUAM...
if you believe that "mooning" someone is a sacred "aha" moment...
U might
B from GUAM...
if you wash your clothes by hand...
U might B from
GUAM...
if you chaired the anti-condom committee in High School...
U might B from
GUAM...
if you believe that daydreaming is done ONLY in the daytime...
U might B from
GUAM...
if you brush your teeth with betelnut husk...
U might B from
GUAM...
if you go around deflowering virgins in the name of Chamori Self-determination...
name: Dan Cruz
Bumper Sticker in Tyler, Texas read:
NOTICE: Driver carries No Cash. He is Married!
_____________________________________________
name: JoJo Martinez
Joke: Visited the FHB in Kailua to cash my payroll check. A cute Hawaiian Hottie was working the
Teller line. Wanting to be friendly, I asked her: "Do you know what the word SEX is in Hawaiian?" She said "No! Do you?" she
quibbled. I said "Of course. The word for SEX is MAHALO". She thought real hard and came back, "NO, MAHALO means THANK YOU."
I eyed her pleasingly and replied, "You are more than WELCOMED."
Name:: Joe Blas
email: jcblas@nikkoguam.comJoke:: A week after Super-Typhoon Paka, Tun Juan from Yona was visited by Tex, a FEMA inspector: To investigate
the damage done to Tun Juan's banana plantation. To qualify the damage, Tex asked Tun Juan the size of his farm. Tun Juan
visually showed Tex that it's from this banana tree to that mango tree about one half mile down the river. Tex said "I'm from
Texas and at my ranch at Rio Grand... I'll take my car and ride at sun rise from the start of my property and will not get
to the end of my property until sun set...Tun Juan without hesitation said "I feel sorry for you, I used to have a car like
that"...
Submitted by: Joe Blas, Windward Hills, Yona
*******************************************
Name:: Joe Blas, Windward Hills, Yona, Guahan
email:
Joke:: Property next to Dandan Landfill at Inalahan was up for sale. Tun Juan is the rightful owner
of the five acres of this property and was asked by the Mayor of Inalahan to be at the site where an interested serious buyer
from Japan wants to purchase the property. With the Japanese businessman were his two legal counsels...Tun Juan was
by himself because he told the entourage that he (Tun Juan) completed high school and he knows how to negotiate with big corporate
people. The Japanese businessman looks Tun Juan straight in the eyes and made the offer of $725,000.00 United States
dollars... Tun Juan shook his head indicating a "No"...the Japanese businessman turned around and consulted his lawyers...in
a few minutes...the Japanese businessman again looks Tun Juan in the eyes and says "I offer $850,000.00 in United States dollars"...Tun
Juan without hesitation replied "Don't insult my intelligence and better yet, don't waste my time" the Japanese man turned
around again and again consulted his two lawyers...this time one of the lawyers approached Tun Juan and said "We are making
a final offer... the final offer is half a million dollars"..."sold" said Tun Juan.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Name:: Joe Blas, Windward Hills, Yona, Guam
email:
Joke:: Military Buildup on Guam. The pending arrival of 8,000 U.S.Marines from Okinawa to Guam has
caused fortune 500 construction companies from all over the United States to take up business on Guam...anyhow the construction
boom is now underway...Construction workers from all over are now gainfully employed...one company hired a hawaiian guy, a
hispanic, and a chamorro dude. During a lunch break atop a 33 story skyscraper in Yona...overlooking Ylig Bay...the
three laborers were comparing lunch...the hawaiian guy says "wow..if my lunch tomorrow is laulau again...I'll kill myself...the
hispanic opened his lunch and it's tacos...he said also "if my lunch tomorrow is tacos again, I, too will kill myself...the
chamorro dude being cool agreed with his buddies and also stated that if his lunch tomorrow is spam and rice that he, too
will kill himself. The next day, the three guys were opening thier lunch and the hawaiian says "brada... I kill myself,
my lunch is again laulau...
he jumps to his death from atop the skyscraper...the hispanic also opened his lunch and
it is what it is "tacos", he jumped also and killed himself...the chamorro dude without delay opened his lunch and it was...yes...spam
and rice...he too jumped to his death. At the company funeral the wives of the men were private talking...the hawaiian
wife...says...if I knew my husband was tired of laulau...I would have made him something else....the hispanic senorita also
stated...me too...if I knew he was tired of tacos...I would have made him something else...the chamorita pause for a few minutes
and said "don't look at me, he makes his own lunch"...
People from Guam are just like Hawaiians. You see them decked out with gold jewelry bangles while they line-up
for foodstamps & welfare. They drive Lincoln Navigators & Cadillac Escalades....
Submitted by Tony Ramon, Kapolei, HI.
*******************************
Rosa: R U a CHÅD?
Joyce: No way. I'm not a CHÅD.
Rosa: How do you know?
Joyce: My boyfriend said so. And he's the CHÅD Expert.
Rosa: Really. And what makes him a CHÅD Expert?
Joyce: Well, he sez his Mom is a CHÅD & his Sister is a CHÅD.
Rosa: So he told you his Mom & Sister are both CHÅDs.
Joyce: Yep! But I told him straight out that If he ever called
me a CHÅD, I would KILL him. And so far, he hasn't done so.
U might
B from
GUAM...
if you have 10 kids but consider yourself a virgin...
U might
B from
GUAM...
if you believe that "Chåd" is short for "Chådda"...
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